A Dad in the World of Moms

As I walk down the isles of Target today picking up schools supplies for my kids, I look around and as usual, I see nothing but moms. It has become a little bit more comfortable for me the last few years, but I have to say, in the beginning stages of our children lives, it was tough. There are not a whole lot of daddy and me classes out there and when you do find a co-ed class, the ratio is about 20:1. I remember I used to go to a parenting class at Pasadena City College and l'd see how long it would take for a mom to talk to me before I would have to start a conversation.

Now, my dream is to not be a stay at home dad and it is hard to not feel like you are not the provider. I think in most males DNA, you want to be the hunter, warrior, and provider. But, like a lot of other dads, you need to make the most of the situation that the Lord has given you at the time. I can't go around thinking that this sucks, because it will only cause damage in my home. However, the difficulty only continues when you decide to stay home. Women tend to only talk with other women or invite each over for play dates. It really wasn't until kinder- garden that I started getting invited to play dates and still, those where few and far between. But I get it. Women don't want to invite another man into their home, especially if they are still breast feeding. It can be an uncomfortable time for women and for their husbands. I think I would even be a little uneasy if my wife hung out with a guy I didn't know well and he was also in my house with my son or daughter.

So, where do you go from there? How do stay at home dads fit into this world that is dominated by women? How can we make it more comfortable for moms and the dads? Truthfully, I don't know, but I think more people should start to think and talk about it. I am now past the baby and toddler phase and life has become more social. I have developed some great friendships with some wonderful moms and I'm close with most of their husbands. But, I have to say, they were not afraid to start the conversation or to approach me before I had to force myself into a group. Being kind and open to both men and women goes a long way. I can understand why women may not want to be vulnerable to a man that is not their husband, but a simple hello is a great first step.